Fired from a wedding

In 2009 I was asked to be my best friend’s maid of honor. I had never been a part of a wedding, and I had only known her a few years. We became fast friends, and while I was surprised that she even asked, because she had some friends she had known most of her life, I said yes.

If I told you I knew it wouldn’t work out after we went dress shopping, you wouldn’t believe me. Four words: chocolate brown satin gown. She wanted everyone to wear the exact same dress, regardless of body type and personal preference. We finally nailed it down to two … we didn’t talk about it again until a few months later.

What I always liked about her is that she was outspoken and honest. I never had to guess what she was thinking; she would just say it. We had that in common up to this point. I still don’t know what changed.

Three months before the wedding, over a $150 meal, there was a disturbance in the force. Accused of not showing enough enthusiasm for the bride, her fiancé tells me she doesn’t want me in the wedding anymore. I was working 55 hours a week, taking six hours of school and eventually started doing a radio internship three days a week from 3 a.m. to 10 a.m.; the only thing I had enthusiasm for was sleep. She knew this was all going on when she recruited me for the job. I found it hard to invest so much time in someone else’s event. I had to constantly remind myself that just because I didn’t understand the significance of what shoes to wear under a floor length gown, I decided I would continue to try and be supportive until I heard the news from her.

On New Year’s Eve, I was sitting at my favorite bar when I receive a Facebook message as long as the Declaration of Independence. I wasn’t supportive enough. I mocked silly things like cake toppers and napkin colors. I “made a face” when she made the decision on the bridesmaid dress. I was being attacked for being the person I had always been since well before he popped the question.

I don’t do well with confrontation; it makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t think I should ever have to fight my way into someone’s life, much less someone’s wedding party. I think I responded with something like “OK,” and ordered another drink. I knew that the great few years of friendship we had was over.

A couple of weeks later I picked up the $180 chocolate brown dress and tossed it in the trash. Choose your friends carefully, you can’t put a price tag on respect.

—  Sandra de Arrigunaga

Four Crossed Logs intern

professional communication major